You know how some people doodle when they’re bored? I do that a lot when I’m anxious or if I’m in a meeting or a class where I tend to try *really* hard to be less me. Take up less space, be less inquisitive, be less opinionated, and really be less visible.
My guess is that most people who have been in meetings or classes with me would never assume this because even when I’m smothering myself to stay quiet, I’m not likely to be considered docile or domesticated. In fact, the phrase I’ve heard used to describe me most often is a “force of nature.”
And yet, I usually feel more like a lightning bolt trapped inside of a power line just waiting to find my way back into the world.
So I doodle to keep myself from escaping and shocking people...usually little hearts and flowers that amp up into tornados and boxes as I struggle to keep my internal tornado in a box.
Even more often than I doodle, however, I’ll draw words or write phrases until a page has been filled. We have now arrived at the point of this little story.
There was a phrase I mentioned in an earlier episode that I use to write over and over again, “Once upon a time, she believed in magic.”
And while I did in fact mean actual magic, I also meant magical. Less ordinary.
The magic that occurs when people are honest with themselves and with others.
Rebelling against the ordinary constraints of societal expectations.
The freedom that comes from escaping the powerline and not caring who you shock or if you explode into a fireball.
I wanted that freedom.
That’s what I found when I found astrology, Stoicism, and life coaching. A way to be free or a way to feel the potential of being free or maybe just a path that leads to the freedom of living a life less ordinary.
Before I go any further, it’s important to define the word ordinary for my purposes.
In astrological terms, I’d say an ordinary life is the one you live that is in alignment with the expectations of others rather than in alignment with your chart.
My Stoic explanation would be living a life more concerned with false pleasure than virtue - for what it’s worth, their definition of virtue and the modern definition have almost nothing in common but now isn’t the time for a philosophy lesson.
My life coaching explanation would be living a life of people-pleasing rather than the one you really want if you weren’t so invested in managing everyone else’s emotions.
I’ve systematically been destroying and rebuilding my life for years to make it less ordinary.
About a year ago, I started letting go of old relationships to make space for new ones. I started investing my time and money in me to figure out what it was I wanted when I wasn’t trying so hard to be less me. Even how I wanted to dress, and what food I wanted to eat, and how I wanted to take care of myself were up in the air.
All the things could each be a podcast episode but the thing I learned really quickly is, it’s remarkably difficult for me to be fully myself when I have to be around other people who will notice me unless I have to be noticed to fight injustice of some sort and then stand back so you don’t accidentally touch a live wire. (Justice being subjective of course, but here in Wicked Veracity land, I’m only concerned with my definition of what is or is not just)
But dang. Y’all would not believe the issues I’ve had in being visible for any other reason. The mind drama is real. I’ve had mountains of coaching and self-coaching to get where I am and I’ve still got so far to go that it can feel daunting but I’m on my way and I want that for you and all the people in all the places.
I’ve always wanted it for everyone but I guess I never realized before that the only way to help other people have it was to find it for myself.
Today’s episode was inspired by the song A Life Less Ordinary by Carbon Leaf.
From the song:
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
You can call me naïve, but
I know me very well
at least as far as I can tell and
I know what I need
What do you need? Can you even tell? Are there so many layers of what you perceive to be the needs of others obscuring your own needs that you aren’t even sure how to answer the question? I’ve been there and I totally get it.
Spend time with these questions and see what comes up. If you’re feeling frisky, hit me up on Instagram and share your answers with me. If you want my help with creating your extraordinary life you can book a free consultation at www.wickedveracity.com/consult to learn more about working with me.
Until next time, my wish for you is an extraordinary, evolutionary life filled with all the love and wonder your heart can hold.